Is Your Child Self-Harming In Ways That You Haven’t Spotted?

Trigger warning: This article discusses self-harm in relation to young people. If you are affected by anything in this post, please refer to our free resources listed at the end of this article.             

Discovering that your child is self-harming is profoundly shocking and upsetting for every parent. If your child is self-harming, it’s likely in ways that you haven't even noticed.

Self-harming is an epidemic that affects young people across the world: 

• 1-in-6 young people self-harm in the UK
• 1-in-5 teen girls self-harm in the USA
• 1-in-4 teen girls self-harm in the Australia 

Types of self-harm

Most of the coverage of self-harm in the media focuses on cutting, referencing young people with self-inflicted wounds on their arms. But in reality, this is only one form of self-harm, and many other forms are overlooked. 

The following list may help to identify other ways that a young person may be self-harming:

Most Common

• Scratching
• Pinching
• Cutting
• Burning
• Hair pulling 
• Ripped skin

Less Common and often overlooked

• Eating too much/too little
• Excessive exercise 
• Isolating themselves

These often overlooked examples are ways that young people self-harm. These methods have a negative impact on a young person’s body and mind, often over longer periods of time.

Aggressive Behaviour

Aggressive tendencies point to another form of self-harm in young people that can easily be misidentified:

• Punching walls             
• Getting into fights
• Breaking objects with their body
• Putting themselves in risky situations

These behaviours are often used to describe ‘boisterous’ teenage boys. As a parent, you might find yourself dismissing your son's careless behaviour as just ‘boys being boys’. However, in some cases, aggressive behaviours are a form of self-harm and point to a young person's struggle with their emotions and mental health.

Have you noticed some of these commonly overlooked examples? You’re not alone. 70% of young people who repeatedly self-harm use multiple methods – anywhere between 2 – 4.

Why do young people self-harm?

The reasons behind self-injury are complex and unique to each young person. Every young person self-harms for different reasons. As a parent/carer, please keep in mind that you are not to blame and that your child is probably using self-harm as a coping mechanism for the overwhelming emotions and stress that they’re experiencing.

Some of the most common reasons for self-harm include:

• Feeling lonely
• Being bullied
• Underlying mental health difficulties and/or trauma
• Struggling to keep up with schoolwork  
• And many more everyday stressors

Identifying these behaviours and trying to understand a child’s experiences can be very difficult. 

The Youth Mental Health Foundation’s free course helps parents/carers to gain a perspective into their child’s circumstances and play an active role in their child’s recovery.

If you need support, or if you are affected by any of the things discussed in this article, then please access our free resources below: 

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DOWNLOAD YOUR FREE BOOKLET and learn how a mother led her self-harming teenage daughter back to health and happiness: https://www.youthmentalhealthfoundation.org/e-book

WATCH THIS VIDEO where Joel & Claire Sutton, founders of The Horizon Plan, explain how parents/carers can play a crucial role in guiding their self-harming child back to health and happiness: https://www.youthmentalhealthfoundation.org/onlinecourse

JOIN OUR FACEBOOK SUPPORT GROUP FOR PARENTS OF YOUNG PEOPLE WHO SELF-HARM and connect with a community of like-minded parents. Sharing your story and receiving support and advice from other parents/carers can be a huge help. Our free Facebook support group is open to all parents/carers supporting a young person struggling with mental health and self-harm. You are not alone. Join here today: https://www.facebook.com/groups/339257352865468

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